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Happy and Relaxed

by Pope Joan

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1.
Dig a Well 04:29
What does a happy person do when the whole thing is caving in when their little bird dies do they stay calm, say that’s fine could you tell me what that’s like I guess ill never find out i’ve dug to deep to call for help i’m In this hole all by myself and my little bird is in poor health I don’t know when I began my memory is pretty weak i’ve got so much dirt in my eyes And the little bird has died Well I haven’t been honest with myself suspicious of every feeling I’ve ever felt Like there’s something more on my mind In the background, deep inside Well I guess ill die all by myself Ill die alone like everyone else am I sick or am I well these days Its hard to tell I guess ill never find out i’ve dug to deep to call for help i’m In this hole all by myself and my little bird is in poor health
2.
Think i'm gonna be all right got a blanket and a night light I might fall asleep soon forbidden sleep in the afternoon well I hope I don't wake up for at least a little while but really i'll be fine I can sort myself out I think of all the things that crawl in my mouth I don't got all that much to lose I had a gold flaked attitude growing faint slowly over time I guess all things lose their shine well I hope I don't wake up for at least a little while but really I am fine, I can sort myself out i'll find salvation through sleeping on the couch i've got sand in my eyes and sand in my mouth and it only goes away when i'm talking to myself so i'll waste this whole day if that's whats gonna help i'll tell myself anything if thats whats gonna help i'll wake up one day having figured it all out but it only goes away when i'm talking to myself saying i've got nothing to prove to you no I don't have a bad attitude your bullshit is reflecting off of me and back on to you x2 but really I am fine, I'll sort myself out I'll find salvation through sleeping on the couch i've got sand in my eyes and sand in my mouth it only goes away when i'm talking to myself saying i've got nothing to prove to you no I don't have a bad attitude your bullshit is reflecting off of me and back on to you x2
3.
Little candle in my mind won't burn out as the wind blows by I've made all of this empty space now the light just fills the place from time to time I get too high see that candle through my eyes i'm afraid of simple platitudes cool kid club attitudes and it gets harder to take you wouldn't believe what they say about one another sometimes I don't feel good enough get messed up over the small stuff I lack a certain subtle touch so I don't talk so much but really I got a lot to say and you wouldn't believe the mess I can make in just a few words but I can't pretend I don't get excited when something good happens if they feel nothing then good for them so congratulations, if only I were boring, an unpleasant surprise devoted stoic, worth ignoring
4.
sick of seeing candle light when i close my eyes at night those shadows on the wall seem to creep nothing is what it seems not a nightmare, not a dream those shadows get so tall and appear so grotesque and obscene looking at me but I can handle this sick of all this bummed out shit sick of the doom and gloom sick of the evening news i gotta open up my mind i'm so tense all the time a string about to snap I hope I can handle that i always try to do my best only got myself to impress but most of all i'm never pleased i'll do something embarrassing make a stupid comparison between myself and someone who's got it worse then me yet still they are happy but I can take the hit not whats behind that fist not sure what I can do when they are hurting too i always cross the line when I say what's on my mind so I try to remember that before they try to ask
5.
Candlehair 02:56
I've got something on my mind it's been there all day and there all night the pot of water is getting hotter but i'm okay with being boiled alive really I love a real good fight nothing better to clear my mind bloody hands and a ripped collar I didn't deserve it until i'de earned it put some candles on my bed tell them how I feel and I'll pour wax on my head just to seal the deal, but it hurts like hell i'm all strung up by a spool of twine not a single thread to pull or unwind well i'm all tied up, need some scissors but all i've got are broken clippers put some candles on my bed tell them how I feel and I'll pour wax on my head just to seal the deal, but it hurts like hell I'll do it for you I'll do it for you I swear I'll do it for you light my candle hair, so I can drip everywhere x2
6.
Judy comes and goes, never says hello looks you in the eye as she walks in cigarette hanging from her lip she grabs a seat but she doesn't sit her face is painted gold she stands on a chair high in the air she cuts off her hair it gets everywhere Judy's getting old, three hundred years ago she could feel the years on her skin she cut herself in half to count the rings said I lost count about half way in so it's not for me to know she stands on a chair high in the air she cuts off her hair it gets everywhere Judy comes back when her hair's grown out she doesn't say a word when she is freaking out nothing is sacred, she thinks too herself nothing is sacred, she figured it out
7.
I am open to getting better call a doctor, get it together talk to someone about my feelings take the first step to start healing and all of that bullshit that happy people do I'll quit smoking, I'll eat three meals i won't drink coffee, it's not Ideal but I want something too feel real ya it's gotta hurt, ya that's the deal and I just want it to stop dragging me around a dead body clocking in, a dead body clocking out finally enough is enough I can change my attitude I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll just stop all of the bad things I do
8.
I'd like to see myself in small clothes I really wouldn't mind being skin and bones wouldn't take up space when I go out see my skinny face in the windows i'd like to be loaded with money i'd like to live my life in luxury don't worry about the price, thats okay whatever the price is, I'll pay I'd like to be so many different things i'd like to know what success could really bring so I stand out on the road with my sign out it says "give me your money and give it now I know how to make you all happier Ya I know for sure what makes people happier" and I guess we really get what we deserve so I'd like to live the life of a farmer i'd like to learn how these things grow i'd like to see myself work harder i'd like to get some dirt on my clothes and put things in the ground, sell them at the side of the road i'd like to be as strong as my mother i'd like to be so brave in the unknown i'd like to be more kind to each other i'd like to tell my mom she's not alone i'll wait for her to call i'll even answer the phone i'll put aside all my pride all the fear in my mind i'm insecure this time i'm sure i'm insecure this time i'm sure
9.
Library Song 03:44
Ive had to see whats inside of me i ate a microscope, it was hard to eat If i close my eyes good and tight i could see my insides if I had eaten a light seams bursting open, this is just what i see over stuffed cotton falling out of me but i can't complain, not in such a state something much worse could be lying in wait can't forgive what is broken if only broken things are free you can take it all from him but you cant take it from me i'll be your safe, i'll be your library i'll be the very day that you met me and nothing will change no this is just how it will be my sister and my mom, my father and me a happy family. and who can I blame for taking him away, Heavy metals in the air lodging in his brain? well the demons been awoken and its smiling at me its too little to late, cause I am the library volumes of history, written into me.
10.
Im not sitting down Im standing still I’ve been home for years haven’t told anyone That I’m here and I probably wont I probably wont reach out to anyone do some damage to myself And if I ever hear From someone that I know I won’t be sincere Make it up as I go don’t need you to say it, don’t want to hear Exactly what I already know Please leave me alone I’ve got all I need inside Got a place to call my own Got a good place to hide If I say that I’m fine That’s up to me that’s my right so I’m not sincere i’ll do it alone

credits

released April 18, 2020

Vocals and Guitar: Sacha Crow
Bass and Vocals: Caleigh Crow
Guitar: Jesse Rhodes
Drums: Alastair Mcleod

Recorded at The Rhodehouse by Sacha.
Physical Release by Rhodehouse Records
Mastered by Lucky Mastering\

Album artwork by Ricky Castanedo Laredo

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Pope Joan Calgary, Alberta

Pope Joan had a baby in the street, you can bet the priests didn't know and the cardinals didn't ether.

Pope Joan is based in Calgary

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